recovered and down again

just when i finally got over being emo, and resolved the fragile connection with my friend.

a kid.

with drawing skill way suckier than mine, dare to critic my attempt of improvement. I dont care if you're rich, i dont care if you're going to ToA in the future, and i certainly dont care how much achievements you got in your private high school, because. your in no place to soil my hardwork.

the "fanart" you drew are not even recognizable of the original character, proportions are out and i can shoot you down like some shitty wannabe otaku, but i didnt, i gave you tips and encouragements, i play nice. I know my flaws and constructive critics are welcome, but u didnt do that. you just shoot me down with you "thoughts". know you place kid. i ain as nice inside. you have no idea how brutal i can go.

and you're new to my art. you didnt watch me on DA for years like some did. you dont know how subtle my improvement is over those time. and you certainly dont know me not as a person, but as an artist with lots of passion and dedication to what i invest my time on every weekend.

dont talk like you know shit. piss off coz you just piss what i felt like i did a good job.

asdkjaslf fffffff

For god sake can you act your age? i've never seen anyone of your age act so childish. no, its not my DA stalker, she grew up and realize my life was tiring for her to constantly demand me to RP with her after work... wonder what ureka moment she had. and shes... employed i think?

putting that aside.

the new place i've move to, no complains really, the landlady was nice enough to fix me some food and soup when she does cook normal meal for her husband. no shit, they some times eat maggie mee and bread for dinner.... what kind of housewife is this!? i mean, shes not employed, shes a facebook addict. and she's currently deadly sick.

that is my point for this rant. if you are FUCK UP sick, why would you:

1. still sleep every night with air con on.

2. dont cook proper meal to get proper vitamins.

3. stay up late just to facebook

4. still eat junk food

5. be picky about what type of bread you eat

number 5 is what i want to rant. the rest u can figure out just by the simple sentence itself. i was working while she message me, ask me to buy Gardenia Chocolate bread for her. fully aware that the shops downstair dont sell those anymore, since i wanted to eat but never get to when i wanted to starve with bread. i decided to try my luck anyway.

so. as predicted both shops available dont have them, so i called out of kindness if she would want other bread, and the conversation goes in mandarin, now available in english ( lmao ):

"Hello?"

"Hello--"

"The chocolate bread you wanted, they dont have here"

"where are you?"

"the shop downstair"

"you're at carrefour?" ( bad english )

"no the shop under the condominium"

"carrefour there?"

"no im not at carrefour"

"Ground-floor--" ( finally she got it right )

"ohhhhh--- yes im at ground floor"

"They dont have the chocolate one any more? what else do they have?"

"wholegrain wheat and normal ones, i can check out the other place." ( I did anyway )

"no- no need to... wheat? eyerr i dont like to eat that one.... normal one.... haiz.... tsh..... aiya....."

"do you want me to get those other chocolate ones?"

"dont want, i only want those slices ones... tsh... haizz..... //whines whines//"

"...." ( matherfucker can u act your age!? what are u!? 10!? )

"okay la.... buy me those whea ones... haiz... "

"okay...."

i was more irritated than angry actually. the fact that mentally WAY older than her. taking care of myself with proper meal and rest and not be picky about food when i know i need all the good stuff i can get. now. look at this. wtf is this man. from the looks of the couple they seems like their over 30 or even 40. but both of them act like kids. and the house is messy shit... what kind of unemployed housewife is this man.. omg.. someone knock some senses and ancient time teaching to this house.

picky even to bread!? brand wise i can understand... but why type when your in this sicky condition. dear me.... i ran out of words to even describe this.

not to mention she sigh like no one's business. minor things. not life threatening nor to the point of annoyance/troublesome. she. will. sigh. and whine as long as shes awake. non stop. if she enters whining and sigh competition, i bet she'll top everyone. srsly. do u want me to slap african children picture to yo face?

someone. please tell me my mental age is still in sync with my physical age orz

i really let this place molded

lmao where goes my ranting spirit?

recently im either just too tired or i really have nothing to rant about. well okay, my life is pretty stress in its own way but nothing that will kill me.... or will it? the health check report will come tomorrow and im going to see if my horrible lung and kidney has salvation.

other than that, just when i think i got the right place to move out, freaking other friend decided to pay her rent and move out on september. mather.... you do know the fact that im going to be homeless by this end of the month right? im very sure you do.

so here i am, back to panicking coz im just a poor bastard whom cant afford to book the room for a few month with price of 650 before she can join me or if she change her mind and decided to move else where.... this kind of piss me off, when you say you are going to join someone, you dont go all "oh what if i can find a better place" im like, screw that, im going to be sleeping on the streets now can you fucking make up your mind already kid!?



gwad bless my damn soul. for a person whom wants to move out of her damn place, you complain too much, come live where im living now, i bet your going to suffocate in 5 second and die with 4 walls collapse over you. i dont think i wanna share room with you anymore...

try finding a room with 325 pricing. you'll either be missing the washing machine or sleep standing. what Patric offer me is wonderful. you just dont know the world yet semester1 kiddy. all you do is pass me contacts and let me arrange all those shitty meeting. did you ever go visit places that has rooms for rents yourself!?

freedom of speech?

fak that, its all pretty words.

the way your pee hole talk to AJE news reporter prove that your nothing but barbaric pigs. "break the protest up GENTLY"!? where is the 'GENTLY" part i see when you use hydro pumps and tear gas and violent? people are just gathering up for peace shit i have no idea and i guess your fucking ego cant take it huh?

well i cant really say much since i dont know all this stuff, but one thing is for sure.

freedom of speech = only for ya all other race to bullshit each other, bullshit with the government? i'll see you in kamunting.

know what? im glad im stupid

it amaze me that i've reach to an age where i can give lectures and what not.... taking out the fact that i actually fail at life at most part and not achieving as much to say that im good or something. i guess thats when you realize the "2" in front makes you a better person compare to when you had "1" last time.

After the movie, nick, susan and me had a little bonding session. and the near end of the part was about futher study etc etc life lmao oh life. and when i came back home. a kiddie i meet in comic fiesta sudden came and ask me stuff. which i find amusing and annoyed at some point coz it remind me of how lost i was last time hahahah, well not really since i made a promise to myself no more science related courses since i fail at them.

so yea, heres the 'little' conver


one thing that annoys me most of the whole conversation is... she doesnt let me finish my sentence. such impatience, i know you can type faster than me, but do know manners apply on the internet too, well at least to me.



why does everyone keep on saying i sell bread or work in a bakery shop... the fak man.



obviously this person has no idea that you cant post work-related things online, specially when its deviantart. geezz im gettin more pissed as i talk to her. again. im happy that im stupid coz salary wasnt part of my concern when im finding my path.



my brain exploded when she ask me how much kidchan earn, the fuck i know? heck more than me but hell should i know? its not like we're even friends to begin with, we're just "hey hi bye" convention-relationship kind of thingy. once a year mang, onces a year i talk and its not even 10min and how the hell should i know something so personal!?



yea true story, though i dun know shit what i should do next, but im enjoying my life now.


family dont support i understand la but think of the long run, really.



well heres a confession. im so stupid last time, i didnt know what comes after high school. i was like "what is college? what is university?" see how i live in my own happy world? hahahahah but i feel so insulted when she thought i slack my years away after calculating my age... fine i took another year in high school coz i ain have no brain but im harvesting them now


yea now you know la. stupid question to begin with...


yea i ranted to my high sch buddy. she rants back


true that estrella, true that.

diffy kind of ranting

and its specially tiring if that person is long winded... i mean, if u wanna rant about ppl being an arse then just do it "THEY ARE SUCH BITCHESSSS COZ ---- " like that

you dont go all

"oh i live here and the room is pretty big and lonely, but its okay since i've been here for some time now, i got used to it, but its far from my work place and the people here ain really nice, there's this---- "

WTF MANG JUST GET TO THE POINT WILL YOU!? im ttly cool at letting ppl rant to me coz i rant to them too, but being all detail in your ranting isnt ranting. its story telling in a very annoying way specially your engalish ain proper and the internet is not in good condition.

my mood is a direct relation to the internet connectivity, and it ain pretty now. when ppl wanna share good stuff with you and u just cant load that crap within 10min upon several tries, it pisses me off.

another type of ranting i dun like is attention-wanted type. you rant about having problems with your life, problems with study and skill and what shitty not, but when ppl try to help you, you freaking rejects every fak up solution and advise ppl offers, what do you want really?

ppl to stroke you e-ego and pamper you and freaking hump love over you? i mean, come on, its not like they themselves have no problem. right right, so your young and has study stress like any other high schooler but hey, im working and dont live with my parents, i dun have homecook meal, i need to worry about money and food and health, you dont see me going to everyone and ranting EVERYTHING to them

i know to the point that i myself needs to deal with them in the end, spilling out all the personal beans will just be temporary release but yes, never rant like its the end of the world and wants everyone to ravish over you so u can stand up again.

so yea... where was i. right. i need to pee and the internet is still a derp. horay.

someone killl themmmm alreadyy

i cant even shit in peace

its a halleluyah day

like srsly. someone finally notice my 'hating'. it was like a HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WITH EPIC CARAVAJISTIC LIGHT OVER ME though its just my room light but HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO bitch finally gets it.


im doing it part aszn part western style of sayin to your face.


yep. srsly. u can ask anyone that chat/text me. i dun really respond after certain msg.


took her quiet some time like. finally!!! but...


YOU'RE FREAKING DOING IT AGAIN. fine i shall tolerant... just coz im aszn and u get to keep your digital faice coz im extra nice and gutless unlike my seme hur hur hur

lastly.

DAMN IT I CANT PAINT BUILDINGS RIGHT WHYYYYYY orz //craiforever

tut you

very reluctant to wake up since it rain pretty heavy and it was nice to snuggle up in bed = =

wash my laundry at 1130pm and it'll be done around 1215am, but the bitches came back near 12 and started their bitchy ways as i sat in the living room with my laptop. well at least now i know which is the more fuck up one... the straight hair betch.

me: "Hi, sorry i took out your cloths, but i need to use the washing machine" /points at the table/

Straight hair: "HAAAAAA then we have to wash again!?"

me: "my cloths will be done around 1230, i'll put it back in later"

Straight hair: "But we are going to sleep already"

me: " ( fuck you like i care ) I'll press wash for you nvm"

Curly hair: "So you can wash it again for us?"

me: " yes ( duh, the table is not even dirty why do u wanna wash the 3th time anyway!?) "

and so they went into their room, but one came out to collect the laundry back into the room as the curly hair one came out later and talk to me

Curly hair: "sorry but can you not bring the cloths out next time? they will be dirty like that." /playing her hair like habit and smiley smiley/

me: "Im sorry about that but i have no choice but to wash my cloths tonight, i was away for 3 days and im running out of wears." ( and whose the one responsible of leaving left over for days while the ants have party over them!? ) /annoyed but i smile back anyway/

Curly hair: "right so..."

me: /cut her before she can continue/ "I know you guys do your landury on weekdays ( every fucking day like a house with 5 would ) and we are doing our best in delaying ours to the weekends, the owner mention, but like i mention i was away in penang for the last 2 days. so yea"

Curly hair: "well okay then."

me: /looks back to my laptop/ "thank you." ( fuck you )

and so i collected my cloths as the appointed time and head back into my room after notifying the betchs im done. before i head in, i saw the wooden door unlock, revange time. i text the owner since he came back home after me and we kind of chatted a bit as i told him about tomorrow's free pretzel day.

urm yea.... so i text him saying they didnt lock the door and he went out to check the next second after i sent the message. heh. now ya alll betches are dead. I gave him a first hand experience of your irrisponsibility.

mess with me la. ya all have no idea whats coming you're way.



anyhow~! random picture time!!


Ps.
some foreign staff came in the office today but he was leaving for the air port soon anwyay. Martinus said to him im leaving this friday... i bet his plannin something... and so the conversation went

Martin "I thought havin her go through all good experience ( freepretzelday ) might change her mind"
Mike "Ahh well, i wont say leaving Auntie Anne's and Martinus is wrong but-- "
Martin "I haven issue the letter though"
Me ( what is this awkwardness im feelin but i think im making the right choice regardless of you guys wanting me to stay... or sth ) /just smile as they laugh/

its five not four sadly

and im gettin sick of you mang. 2 thing i dun fucking wanna hear you asking me... well okay theres more but please. can u stop asking me? my replies to you are getting colder and shorter by the moment but ur not getting a thing.


Right. let me list the difference.
- im 23y'o employed and your 30+y'o jobless
- I felt asleep working, you felt alseep doing what?
- I want to draw but i draw for work and not fun, what do you draw for that needs so much energy?
- I need rest all the time, but my work is never done, knowing that is a fact already, can u stop asking me then? or was is that ur memory only last for 1 chat and you have to ask me the next round u online?


- you walk the dog and clean your house and lives with ya mom, im gettin really curious on what kind of activity you burn ur energy on beside doing DA group art and... RP and more art.
- like i said, always am, so can u stop asking me already and givin me useless caring advise?
- so after all the 'concern of cat over working herself everytime i chat with her' you continue on with you're carefress RP-ralated things agaian... how caring. this is went online friends have nothing better to talk about. I have a few whom actually share their lives with me, work or sch, i enjoy talking to them, but not this stalker.


- Stop insistin on wanting my sons. go la syok sendiri for all i care. and i dun need to know what happen with you RP... I have a life to keep track on so please save ur updating on those when u chat with me. I have limited capacity of memory, please dun make me angry and burn away more storage place.


- so i break the reality question cause im so tired of hearing all those RP things. you need a life. i told my boss i have language problem and he found out later i cant spell right to save my arse, he still keeps and hires me. when i fail my freelance job, PH help and did my part. so why is being honest not working for you?



after all that, can u guess whats the 2 thing i dun want her to ask me?
- How's work?
- Rp related when i dun want to/not even involved in.


but if i take those out, what do u have in mind of a proper chat with me? im sure you're livin a wonderful life compare to this workaholic, care to share them besides the fact that ur drawing for fun 24/7 while im drawing for work 24/7 ? I'm pretty sure their awesome... if u can think of anything normal to talk to me that is.


Ps.
going to Penang tomorrow to help out Free pretzel day. will be back on Tuesday with more rants and countdown. at least this will be the last post about her unless she piss me off again.

right. so they want war?

the bitches at my place is demanding a silent war with us now. giving up shitty bitch look as we pass by each other in the hall way when we are the one whom is the victim here.


- they wet the kitchen and the electrical wire is damp too.
- the switch in the kitchen is loose, slam doors, break stuff... fucking cow whores....
- let the shower running non stop without using
- HL's cloths detergent was robbed. so is my hair shampoo, from newly brought to quarter left. even the owner got this bad experience and now he knows whose at fault.
- they told the owner we threw stuff into the toilet and made it stuck. what a sore looser to make the first accusation.
- one of them ranted out loud when HL is in her room, saying we hog the toilet and want to wash cloths so badly we might as well buy our own washing machine.


interesting creature dont you think? who are the one that got home at 6plus and waited until 830pm just to bath? who are the one that need to delay their laundry for maximum of three days coz ya all have MOUNTAIN OF BRA AND PANTIES changing every one hour resulting in you washing 4 hours everynight? hmm?

i've told all you pussy acts to the owner and his not liking it one bit. ha. see what i said about biting hard in silence? HL did that same over the phone. you all whore are in trouble if our tenant werent so gentleman.... and missing in action most of the time...

i woke up 645am and one of ya fugly is in the bathroom, fine, not the first time, so i slept in the living room.... until 730am u only come out. OI RETARD WHY YOU SEX IN THE BATHROOM ALONE HA!? WITH THE SHOWER HEAD IZZIT OR U MOLDING UR HAIR YARD DOWN THERE EVERY FREAKING TIME U ENTER THE BATHROOM!?

and. so. when i wanna enter, another one rush in.... and i have totally no comment on that... i was almost late for work and my reputation doesnt work that way in the office. and u dare ranted that we fight bathroom with u when u cant even wait for 15min for us to come out despite us waiting for hours for u? assholes....

say la we spoil the toilet when its just bad piping fault, i use it this morning and it was fucking fine, i told the owner and we kind of sms for a while as i told all ya flat chest facade stories to him. those guys that seems to be their "bf" i think ur past life had lots of bad karma and now ur paying the price.

boob also smaller than a tomboy and u wann fight.... just die already.

knock on our door and talk to us like all friendly jsut coz ya slavery bf is in the living room, ha. me and HL laugh so faking bad on how scary u guys are. and guess what they want? "are you guys washing cloths? coz we wanna wash cloths..." omg someone just get a horse and rape these ppl already. before u went out u wash for hours, and after u come back u wanna use the washing machine again.... ARE U OPENING A DOBI OR WHAT HA? WASH SPERM STAINED UNDIES IZZIT!?

im playing a good girl role here on reporting/updating all the events to the owner. my bridge is solid steel now. do not mess with the silent smiley ppl ya faking two face chickens.

really now...

please... dun tell me how hard ur life is when mine is harder with actual life. I'm hanging from the line of being sick and healthy cause im actually living and making money and trying to make my life as fulfilling before some faking train/car/tsunami/earth/building claims my life for the end of the world.

lack of sleep? oh come on, what are u doing the whole long night? role play, do art, and chat with ppl with more of your role play stories. i dun really care do you know that? they fact that you just step on my landmine just made me lost my last strain of respect for you.

me: "every day is my deadline day"
her: "Oh my.... That,s hard. Oh well, you will not get bored that way. XD"
me: "= =" i get tired of my life more that way"
her: "Sorry hun ^^" I forgot how tiring and hard your job can be."

right. coz u haven work the longest time no? and u have no idea how my work goes.... as fancy as they sound like, you just step on a crack that piss me off the most. as much as ur worried about me staying alive so u can role play with me more when im free, i can tell u its not going to happen anytime soon. now with how things are heading down hill from here.

i like it at first when your all nice and sweet, but when u start to get desperate and obsessive with me.... everything went down the drain and shithole. when i say i can chat, it means, simple life chat, not more of ur RP stories coz im not really interesting in knowing thing im not involve in. srsly.

but i guess i need to forgive her coz RP is currently all she's living on. so please. as much as im telling u about my work being long term and all.... stop asking me if i've completed my work and tell me to take care of myself from not killing myself over this insanity. cause. i think u need them more than i do. ur way older than me. u need a life more than i do....

im sorry to hear that ur interview didnt went well, i was praying so hard that u would get hired. really. i am.

this kind of situation just tested and proven to me, that i cant get along with ppl that does act their age. like. the accountant in my office. shes 31 but acts like 13, she even said it herself but she cant change her childish habbit now that its hardwired into her life.... honestly? i get annoyed most of the time when she rant non stop on the same thing and blabble nonsense outloud....

it might seem amusing and funneh to everyone else, but i find it disturbingly concerning... is she going to live her life like that for the rest of the years?

zen grave digger

so i got my leave approved and temporary escape myself back hometown. but little that i know... it ain that zen.

went to have another hair cut on friday and blood test on saturday. dun ask, im just paranoid as usual. the result is going to come out on Wednesday and well, part of me wish i was somehow sick so i can take a little break from work. and going back to the capital sunday night. well, elder sis whole came back a while ago went down this morning so yea...

relative visited at night, one of my cousin just hang around as i do my freelance work... his faking fail i can tell you... his a fail since young and i have no intention of talking to such failness... he takes english course but never able to pass the test, wanna improve enghlish but never spoken any all the long while we talk, tell me he types pinyin alphabet in chats and have over 400 female friends in FB and few asian regions friends.

why am i not amused? right... coz ur a fail person. i have tons of online friends in the US region. I have a proper working life and socialing with good old friends, im earning stable income with minor funs in between. im learning bit by bit on how to improve myself further coz im not going to have any chance of further studying from what my negative self can see... so yea.

talking about work, u knwo what he doeS? Facebook poker/gamble/game thing player person that sells game chips to ppl. he explains to me he has like 10 FB account just to play those games and collect chip everyday and sell to ppl in real life for real moneh... remind me why i feel like his so fail again?

ask me to add his FB and msn which i have ttly no interest in since i dun talk to you, i dun have anything in comman with you, and i have no intention of understanding what u do for living. i heard this over bus ride home back a few months, its by some foreign tourist whom speak of earcandy and render me sleepless for the hole journey.

"just because we're related, it doesnt mean we have to like them"

its. like. HOOOOOOOOOOOOO SHINNY LIGHT OVER THAT SENTANCE. so yea. i pick my friend with standards. if u have nothing i can repect of, ur not worth my time. i make friends and enemy very easily. but of cause that doesnt apply to all, im not like some robot program with condition of the situation to meet and allow access. pfff... so fail man.... good luck with your life.

i dun really care if ur boss applies 1 modem per computer so ya all lifeless gamer can play intensely nor whom u sell those game chips too like police or office ppl since they have so much time on hand and not do anything more productive... really now. what is wrong with this world?

everywhere i go

theres bound to be bitches in the rented place. so heres the deal.

- they dun always lock all the doors ( wooden, lock pad, gate ) and end up involving us when the owner came home and found any of those unlock.
- when they use the kitchen sink, the floor and pantry is bound to be wet.
- they turn on all lights even though they are in their room
- they bath for 45min - 1 hour per person. so 2 sister = 2 hour at least if we're unlucky

you think thats bad? or not? well okay, heres the worst part.

they wash 1 round of cloths 2-3 times. 1 round of cloths takes 45min to complete a cycle, so adding on the part where we ttly forgot we have cloths in the washing machine, thats like 1 hour, just to make math easier. so okay, 2 sister, 2 round of cloths, 2 time per round. how many hour is that? 4 hour. smart. A+ for you.

so like for the whole night we waiting for them to pick they faking whore cloths out just to wait for our own 45min to have clean cloths for the next 3 days. what about them? they have a whole room of cloths man. if u wan me to compete in this i win some freaking amy award already, i believe i have the least cloths for any female in this world. no joke. my cloths is worth 7 days chance only. lmao.

so like. we text the owner and discuss over all this between him and us, and when he saw one of the sister came out from the room, he kind of confronted them about and they were being SO DEFENSIVE, they claim they separate colors and no colors for washing.

funny.

im in the living room all this while and i dun see u change the content inside nor carry any clean ones our while u go and press the washing machine for the second time. even the owner told me the water bill shouldnt be so high. ha. take that bitches. im building my bridge with the owner here and in no time ya all will look bad instead of innocent us.

and guess what they said back to the owner? "we usually wash cloths on monday to thurdays, maybe they can wash on friday to sunday?" fuck you. thats is what i wanna reply so badly but i dun have their cell number. as if we come home all sparkly clean, balleying into the house with perfume socks that grows flower every step we take? fuck u bitches, go jump off the 11th floor already.

and well, he kind of know their bitchy ways since he had a few experience shit with them. not to mention i ttly said all those things were on going before i move in, my roomie can prove it. and hehehehe... ya all have no right to saw shit started to happen since i move in, well u can, that will just make me happier being all death gwad, black sheep or some unfortunate event bringer.

so like yea... lets see how they wanna play this game. dun mess with me, i bite hard in silence.

Ima rant now

lelelele coz i haven been doing much of those lately. so here goes.


CAN YOU FAKING GROW UP!? IM YOUNGER AND IM MENTALLY MORE MATURE THAN YOU AREEEEEEE as lifeless as i am, im working and freelancing and doing art for fun BUT YOUUUUUU DONT YOU HAVE WORK TOO!? DONT YOU FREAKING HAVE OTHER STUFF TO DO TOO!? when u know im busy, dont try to freaking hint your needs to me damn itttttt COZ I CANT BE A BUSY MOTHER THAT TAKES CARE OF A CHILD'S NEEDS WHEN THAT CHILD IS CAPABLE ENOUGHT TO UNDERSTAND AND TAKE CARE OF YASELF

like. srsly. grow uppp okayyy grow uppppppp. dun make yaself sound like some fantacy creature that lives only on certain activity and thats all you really do when you talked to meeee I WANNA TALK LIKE NORMALLY TOOO and not stray into some fak up dream land of your's. okay!? i have a life and i cant satisfied everyone, this cat only has 1 life and im living desperately to make it as fullfilling as possible but its impossible.

DA is good entertainment to me, stress release. but when YOU TAKE THINGS SO SRSLY LIKE U NEED CHILL PILL COZ ITS ALL JUST A GAMEEEEEE IT MAKE ME STRESS like veryy. coz omg i dun know if im too mentally mature or i cant take simple entertainment to another level of seriousness that i fail to compile with ya wave lenght i dly dun know now.

and when i dun respond. dun make it sound like im obligated to.

1+1=2

you dun say anymore than that coz it'll be just shitty weird when you say more nonsense when ur not in the mood or just nothing to continue on, like really. dun make it sound like im ditching you or ignoring you or im just too self indukging in my work workaholic world coz i need to feed myself and save money coz nothing faking last forever!!!!

like 1+1=2reallynowcozijustatepizzaandifeellikepukingbutthenagainitsveryannoyingthatwenee
atleast6hourofsleeptoreducediabetyratelikewtfikr!?andcontinuetoblahlikesomefakingbitchwit
nolife

point taken yes? = =

and. went someone is not happy, i'll guilt trip like im on the illustion of never ending stair case. though it not my fault, i'll still sacrifice my end of the fun to ma ya happy. not good enough? srsly? just coz i cant use my time like you coz im a faking poor bastard whom took work like air, ya just ganna ditch my end of sacrifice coz u get to have more fun with others!? no fair mang no fair. i made you happy but it just wasnt enough to satisfy ur hunger and so ya dumping me for a better deal!?

fine really. everyone knows i put on a good facade/acting skill.


so yea. on the happier note. Blow brought me a sub which i have yet again no use of. orz why is ppl being so kind to me.... when we're just online friends... and another happier note. moving out is giving me so much zenness im in very bliss state to even stay angry for long.

but.

grandma freaking called me before her bed time just to nag and tell me how to take care of maself OMGGGGGGGGG IM OLD ENOUGH TO DO THAT MANGGG I KNOW U CARE BUT DO U KNOW THAT IT ANNOYS ME TO THE MAX TOO!? i ttly lost my zen mood for the night //crais

funny question

if he use his brain more, he could have figure out why i avoid him and keep my distance.

i just ranted all the reason why i need to move out to nick. so he knows the detail and everything with 'fuck' added to every sentence... and perhaps in between every one word from me. so im going to rant about this retard here. the male cousin.



1. you're form2, can u not fucking act cute with that squeak up premature voice of your's? it annoys me.

2. you're form2, can u act like your age and stop looking retarded like down syndrome's child? it burns my eye.

3. Do you know personal space? I dont appreciate you walking up close to me just to ask why i avoid you or why cant u hug me. and when i work, i dun like it as u thrust ur hand into my workspace rendering my left/right hand handicap coz i dun have enough space to move around.

4. Do you even think of logic? Do your brain even work in the first place i should ask.

5. Can you stop picking senseless fights? you're way pass the phrase of "annoying others give u joy but they cant do it back at you". when i was form2, i wash my own dish, do housework, and lots of other normal stuff without complaining like a dying cow. I was fully aware those are what i need to do as a part of the family, and not shrug it off like its child abused.

6. Can you just shut up and do as other told u to? everyone is making unnecessary noise pollution because of you. its making me stress. noise pollution. my ears are open, i dun want to shut them up with loud music. i get distracted easily. i cant focus my thoughts when so much shit is going on.

7. With so much shit i hate about you. how can i like anything from you? that why i rather sit still in my own spot, but i was questioned of my nature instead, which i do not really like it ( Blow had/felt the same with me ) coz i rather not get 'in your way' of being retard and burn my own fuse over givin u sarcastic comments. believe me. i do those comments very cold and insulting.



one of the reason i believe why im not recovering from illness. im too stress. even after work. mid night is the only time i get peace. but i cant stay up long coz it might worsen my condition. but to sleep and wake up to choas the next morning?

you have no idea how much i want to break down right now.

there so much going on in my head i need to decide shitload of stuff. im just glad politician isnt one of them. or incometax. or.... more complicated adult stuff. still. i feel like dropping to the cold abbandon alley of pasar seni and cry my heart out.

few reason why im being so angsty and emo right now. I ddint have my daily dose of anime for 3 weeks now. im not drawing as much as i want to. those 2 are essencially how i relax. and im not gettin them, with a month-old coughin my lung out.

my mood is not really the brightest u wana appraoch now...

DAMN ITTTTT

get well already body!!! my mind cant cope with all these repeated sickness when there work and shit and more shittt to dooo orz

Round3 return of cough. when to the 3th doctor for RM60. second doctor for RM67. first doctor back in taiping for.... RM25? this shows that KL doctors are all sharks. they give u 2-3 day worth of medic but if u dun recover by the time the medic finish, u have to return and get slaughter alive again.

just had another horrible round of fever yesterday. i slept at 830pm and woke up at 1030am. so freaking blur and numb and wobbly on feet. i am not liking this. good news is, the medic work, im coughin less. bad news is, when i do cough, i went on a spasm like im ganna puke blood the next second. not my throat hurts from all the coughin. talking hurts.

know what my grandma did yesterday?

me: -finally able to sleep with the cold and fever and coughin at 830pm-
grandma: -enters the bedroom- ARE YOU ASLEEP!? YOU SLEEPING AR!? -saying as loud as shouting-
me: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF -woke up in shock and anger-
grandma: NOT FEELING WELL!?
me: Fever.
grandma: DO YOU WANT ME TO PUT WET CLOTH ON UR HEAD?
me: ..... can you let me sleep?
grandma: blah blah blah -and goes out the room-

i mean. srsly. why am i doin on bed if im not sleepin!? play dead!? i really don get what she is thinking sometimes... the fact im THIS sick and she starts being long winded.... its not helping with my fault mood.

please dont ruined it

today is the last day of my touch n' go card monthly travel thinggy package. so i went to the station to top up. its probably that bitch's fault that ruined my night. im like racist but not to the point of YA ALL SUCKERSSSS racist. so yea. it was a malay woman.

light rain. with reno behind the lrt. in her secluded behind the glass counter. do u expect me to hear what u said when u speak so fucking soft? and i get shouted at for not hearing her. fucking pissed i tell u.


Ms pms: lima puluh ringgit 7 hari?
Me: ya
Ms pms: ini intergrasi 7 hari rm50? ( i have no idea shes stating or asking me )
Me: .......?
Ms pms: -went to click clik stuff-
Me: -look at the line i hold up behind and made everyone miss the train that came and left- FFFFF
Ms pms: sdjfk;agirglerl;g?
Me: what?
Ms pms: -lookin all pissy- NAK START BILA NI!?
Me: -shock- urm, esok.
Ms pms: -click click stuff and hand me my card and receipt-
Me: .... thank you. -went to tap and goes in- the shit.....


guess wat? it minus my credit instead of my monthly travel package. which i still have a day left! so i check the recipt and see 50 was transfer into my credit and it was total up to 70 instead of my emergency 20.

i went back to ask her, seeing shes really not liking me, i also dun wanna drag too long. she explain stuff in a very unhappy tone and i also cant bother much about this bitch d. the train came and i just went off. i even said thank you to Ms pms. for ruining my night. which i was in no wrong of.

so yea. that bitch cancel out November package and start my 7 days pacakge for tomorrow. RM4.40 i wasted with cash. thats like. McFurry or Milkshake price damn it. orz

tsh.

okay. on a happier note.

my deadline pillar Before + more unseen ones


After when i got pissy and decided to pwned most of them. now im just waiting the boss to come back from philipine and bring me more doom. which today he did but didnt. he was sickky so yea im save for now.

but i have shit lots of stuff which needs his confirmation. before i can sent for printing or stuff.

WEEKEND HIGHLIGHT !!


this is nice. the japanese shop upstairs to coffee bean in midvalley. i couldnt find my green tea ice cream of happiness so i pick this black thinggy out of curiousity -drools-


its vanilla and red bean paste. with brown sugar ice cream cone in fishshape. oh bliss.

rm5.90 pick it up yo!

urm...

photoshop cant make things level up to pretty usable HD picture. please.

when i name the file i edited from the photo u took "lowerQuality" i didnt means its shit screw fucked up trash quality. its still a pretty huge ass file but less usable due to the blur behind and noise infestation.

so can u please stop telling everyone i saved ur arse file "LowQuality" when i didnt mean it that way? and stop ur acting cute tone of voice.... and that long pull to sentance like a some grandma trying to seduce a 5 year old kid. its annoying.

i know u can be serious, so please use a serious tone with me. and i dun need your constant check on whether im working. i will read manga and watch anime without fail. but im also workin with deadlines. u rather not want me to be half sleeping like the uncle next door. i saw him half asleep yes.

so far my limited jap song is keeping me awake.
which remind me i need to bring more over...

oh gwad. Des'ree - Life ( its a song ) just made my day.
totally cheer me up when i made a dash to chase down the bus in 20kmph

... and the latter is a joke. yea. back to work.

Stories of excuses.

somehow i felt like Yagami light from death note...

i really don like going out with my aunt's family some how. it gets really stressful seeing them like... pissy KL ppl. the father obviously needs anger management, the son obviously needs to shut his arse-pie-hole and use his brain more than to utter totally bullshit. grandma needs to know when i say no its no.

neither can i take the father's sarcasm anymore. i dun know. do modern dads act like that? my youngest aunt's husband is like that too. im having a dilemma, my dad is awsm, so i cant really say does male brains works differently from females? scientifically yes la. but could this 3 male i know think more before voicing out?

i mean, if u want ur kids to behave, try to behave and be less stuborn urself?

okay la, tested and proven im home sick, to be accurate, home-atmosphere sick.

so back to the death note situation, well, im pretty much cursing the whole time when i hear shit. after all these long while, i learn how to keep it to myself. a lot more compare to last time, and only to rant it out when the situation is right, i wanna correct things and make them realize it unconsciously.

i admit, im pissed that i couldnt have the weekend to myself. my anti drug is already taken away from me, my entertainment is limited to certain amount of number, my energy is hard to spare... im just so tired.

the fact that ur reading this, means im going to have all my say in these. so here goes... the only way for me to get it all back, is to move out and get my own broadband. i know. i know it very well, but i wanna save cost. im a failure enough in making decisions, i want to at least know this choice i make is working. and it is. my account money is not depleting in a horrible rate, im still givin myself small rewards once in a while but the cost for that is affecting me mentally.

weekend, i dun expect much, i dun even go out to movies, if im really desperate for freedom i will go and watch it on my own. and i did. it was a nice change of paste if i may add. but still, all i wan is time to myself. do something that might not benefit me even. drawing, painting, watching anime simply wasting my time daydreaming even!

joinin DA group made me realize. i rather create art that interacts with ppl, rather than art that is worth a thousand words. i dun want praises like how awesome i am coz i know ppl will get there someday with practice, i just want ppl having fun with my art, spoiled it, talk to it, make shit up with it. its more fun that way and i can prove you why its a lot more better than godly art.

ppl.wiil.just.say.how.good.it.is.period.

and thats how sad it is. you might earn more in money wise when u sell these, but good artist is not having as much fun as i am. they have a lot lower self esteem than i do though they have more recognition than i did. but what keep me goin is still a question. do i want recognition too or to prove myself i've improved? maybe both but in a different matter?

i want ppl to recognize my improvements? so that i dun feel like such a failure in life?

and that is starting to become like an addition to me. i couldnt care less whether this lame skill of mine is going to take me anywhere in the future since i so choice not to persuade those field of work. i wanted to interact with online ppl, though strangers, so badly i feel suffocated when i couldnt connect with them.

im startin to get sick i know.

i just open a badly lock for handicap ppl only toilet door, and there was a mother inside who quickly hide herself and myself quickly shut it back. not my fault. that will be her lesson not to use a handicap ones when shes not. grandma wanted to use it. FYI.

and i need a hair cut.

peace out.