artist/designer's block?!

this month is horrible... i have not a clue on wat to do for all my assignment. this term is all mostly on video and 3D. minor website or flash. video is my weak subject so im really scared for this term and im feel really pressured about my grades and outcome of the assignment.

today was a total "idk" (i dun know) day... nick and ben was like... where to go... what to do, after we had lunch together. nick is damn optimistic today, he explain to me that "when ur sad im happy" so i told him "oh, so when im happy u hv to be sad then" he said yes and reply "so you better faster become happy now"

oh gwad... i have such good friends around me. they try so hard to motivate and cheer me up... im really happy and touch to have them in my life. im currently having a depression pms so i know it my fault that i made them worried. its my fault that i screw up my life and those things around me.

nick said one thing during lunch "i need to tease you to get new idea" i went "wtf". hahaha didnt know i was such a good inspiration medium.... that explains why most of the ppl i know "bullied" and tease me. LOL im actually helping them in a way hahahahah so sad...

there comes another case which i screw up another person's life, but she's too saint to be angry at me and we had that problem solved... they want me to cheer up but i know its my fault so i couldnt... i was very angry at myself for being a klutz and so careless.... i need to improve my memory and my attentiveness.

when home with ben today and we drop by the swing at the near by playground. omg i miss the swing... its reminiscing bout the carefree time of being a kid... and the joy of staring up the blue sky until the sun burns your eye. we chatted quite a while, mostly stupid talk about childhood and life. it was fun, since all of us have blocks and dry on ideas this term... too dry... it scares us.

came up with another new dish today for dinner, housemates said it was good, but i think it taste normal... wonder what they tasted special in it... it just "carrot-potato-veggie-chili source" fried. LOL im getting good at mixing things up and cooking all-in-one-pot dishes... well at least i finally got myself some greens to eat :P

CNY is around the corner, and my trip back home got forward earlier. hope my home's internet is way better than the one im using... oh yea, before i go, here my attempt on mecha modeling. i was sulking about how i sux at 3D and wanted to do sth to cheer myself up, so i went back to medabots... nice anime which needed more luv.


I might do a set of those type that i like... ben saw what i did and he was tempted to do one too. ben is such a kiasu(sore loser aka competitive). we tell nick to make one too so we can do some battle royal thing XD

this is just a tin can of medabots. but it kind of reminded me of psyndog...

still left the lower leg, arms and im done. might finish it tonight or maybe later... Mr willy's assignment is giving me the fear or failing... need to do a intro for tv chnl or movie.... im no tv person and as i mention, im weak with video... which is why im scared of my grade drop coz last term was all video... and that fuck up person = =

ONE LAST THING!!!!!! I HAVE NOW OFFICIALLY CUT TIES WITH SBO OR ANY OTHER THINGS THAT I DUN WANNA BE INVOVLED IT!!!! HAHAHAHHAHA IN YOUR FACE FUCKERRRRRR!!!!!!

*runs*