im so touched when they responded to my nonsense. even ppl whom dont talk to me in the first place... okay i know they might not meant it but im almost went teary when i see those replies. Betachan is handicap when it comes to being independent, Jiru's health is down the drain but she still look forward to talking to ppl online. and other tons of shit i read/know on DA. i think you can ignore me now, im just depress. the online world does has it impact in real life as much as people doesnt wanna believe, specially to emo hermits like me. its kind of like half salvation where ppl 'tried' to help one another.
so yea. if i were to stay alone in a room, im very sure. its a haunted one. coz i have a habit of doing things in the silent, i do open music but that when im in a good mood... when its quiet, i think it means im annoy, im not sure really. i like nothingness at times. void. null. peace. and just paint my time away. feeling happy in my little comfort zone.
doc said i have to think positive, though i've pretty much fed myself from negativity to be motivated, my body cant handle it. its the inner stress thing again, i hate it when my body doesnt sync with my mind.
SO!
someday. I'll be able to paint fur like Sullivan.
someday. I'll be able to pixel art like Soysa.
someday. I'll be able to model low poly 3D like SamaVan.
For now I just wanna
REAL TROLLFACE by ~stargrace97 on deviantART
A little fur test with Sullivan's brush. still unsure how to use them...
but yes. one fine day. i will make those 'someday' happen.
PS.
I ate dog food/biscuit yesterday morning. it tasted salty but crunchy~ finally!! my childhood curiosity has been satisfied; or is this the prologue of me regaining my insanity? but was i sane to begin with?
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