urge

this itchy feeling is killing meh... like after all these years of reading manga and seeing artworks... the urge finally got too strong to surpass. to be accurate, for months now.

i am. very. tempted. to. start my own. manga. 8D

there i said it. theres still so much to learn and so much im unsure of. but seeing some webcomic in smackjeeves made me think...

"shit. those ppl with such horrible art can do it, why cant i?"

yea, i answer myself back.

"coz im afraid. i wanted to make it successful. not half hearted. but yet im afraid."

im not all that organized in my life when whole bundle of things jumble up all the sudden. i cant balance my likes and duties. lize is good at taking notes. but not organizing. contradicting? yea i know. humans are interesting.

i get a lot of those so-called "self-proclaimed duty" too. more often than not, i pressure myself even if others didnt. interesting huh?

i might do this for real. but i think ill start off fresh. new name new site. with no relations to my past skill being linked. uh huh. thats how i want it. so i wont be afraid of ruining my present reputation.

yes. i shall not announce it here until everything is going well and im doing well.