pif...

i feel like being the second jessica now... though i admire her. i fear her workload. its hellish and im not as patience as her.

who am i going to throw my tantrum huh? the boss can get all angry and trash his anger management tsunami thread at us. then where are we to release ours? the sinless blames. unintentional sarcastic comments. the punched paper bag.

im handling tons of work spontaneously now. 3 monitor staring at me with work all set and calling. ah, he called again. im off to yet another facade trip. my grade is on the line, i cant show him im not happy with the responsibility thrown to me.

it might be an entertainment for u to see me panic. to see how i react, to see my expression. but its not all that fun for me. you dun think of other ppl much. im lacking skill i know. dun ask me all the time if i know how to do the work. i lack confident i know. yet ur still pushing me to those thorny bars which i dun have equipment to disarm them yet.

its getting to me now. im stress. lize is dying little by little inside.



To my sisters who are reading:
Im going to OT for some time until im release from my slavery days. please dun worry. im alive yet dead. tell dad not to worry. im still hanging.

To my dear friend whom i cant celebrate ur birthday:
really wanted to throw u a celebration but im really sorry. i feel like some irresponsible adult now. only using work as excuse. this is a lot more horrible than official worker... happy birthday.