decision decisions...(long rant)

there comes another life threatening question. which im will have to really think, coz it's my future. my life to be more accurate... 2D or 3D?

vernon have an eccentrics; no teaching experience; graduate of this colle, lecturer on hand which wanted to join us. if all four of us agreed on 3D he will not be teaching us, but if we wanted 2D, he will be our lect. vernon mention that he is wayyyyyy more eccentric than insomnia sham or un-understandable mr.teh ..... so i dun really like the sound of it.. beside that, he is also those kind of "do it my way" person and will be harsh/sarcastic/pushy person... according to vernon's pass interaction with him..

so all of that doesnt sound good to me... but heres the catch. if we pick 2D, we will be drawing more with wacom in flash. we will purely be flash animator and maybe learn how to use toonboom. we will have Digital Media class with Sham given that 3D is still part of our lesson(because we requested it) and that's the road we have to take during internship and maybe for our life.

so yea... its a really big decision... i wanted to be a 3D modeler since the whole animating and rendering kills my passion. so much for working with square enix *LMAO* so yea... but omar said that wanting to enter the gaming field, i need to know anatomy very well, and i need pretty good drawing skill at that... so im pretty much suicide case in society world.... i dun know the world, i dun know famous ppl's name, i dun know design/gaming/animator/film/media company or shit lots of stuff which im suppose to.... im just an ignorant kid whom onli do thing she likes...

so that push me off the cliff... im determined to improve myself after i graduate... though its too late but better than never... plannin to take drawing course/class... when i find out who is offering... so im very scared right now. put aside that i lack time to anime and render my 3D...

okay. so back to vernon. he keep on pushin 2D and saying 3D is hard to find job... omar and willy recommended us to improve our motion graphic specially in after effect... coz thats the life line for every opportunity... but vernon cant add that subject into our course... coz he said we onli have 7 weeks for those lots of stuff... we cant risk any time wasting coz we are already in semester5... one semester away from graduation.. one semester away from BIG FAT FINALS...

why do i feel like our class is the lab rat... i mean, all the new stuff is tested on us. all the failures have thrown to us to fix them up... all those missin classes due to lect's own personal emergency... all those risks and all those decision... i can see from the fact that we are more capable from our senior or even juniors... the fact that they are really givin all the pressure and high hopes on us but is this really necessary? im personally not a challenging person.. im more like giving my best and get it over with... but this is like a guilt sentence... i mean... if i.. or we dont break our limits of wat we are capable of... it's like... they are saying we're doing it half heartedly... and i can tell u, we've been told once by that bastard and it doesnt feel good AT ALL.

this is really hard..... i dun want another bastard-like lect... i dun wanna die that fast to due brain overangered. i want a flexible ones... a lect which can understand us... like sham or vincent or willy... so far me and ken kind of voted for 2D coz we personally like it. I personally voted coz i wanna save frustration for 3D coz im not good at it.... sadly.... and also that fact that we can still do 3D.

nick is surely going for 3D coz thats wat he aim since he enter colle. i really salute him coz his determination never seem to be shaken by any factors... ben on the other side wants everything. as usual.

vernon said he cant have both 2D and 3D class on the same go... its either 2D or 3D... i can say he wants us to kill one another... because... think about it. if only nick wants to do 3D while the 3 of us voted for 2D, then nick will be force to join us... isnt that unfair? his paying his fee but his not doing wat he wants... its like force labor but more horrible...

how? its all horrible choices but we still have to make them... tell me... how? loop holes are everywhere.... i dun have the equipment nor patiences/skill for 3D.... i dun want a arsehole lect for 2D nor i want to give up on it... life is full of decisions.yes. im just facing one that decide those other in the future... but wat if im force to accept it?

its not middle age where ppl just keep quiet and "oh it cant be helped"... im rebellious and i put on a facade if i need too.. but once u tick me off, i dun want to see your face in my life. though coffee addict ms chan advise me that working life is going to be more harsh... i still believe i need to be who i am.



decisions. becoming of a conclusion.
for my life. and for myself.

thus i shall take. the road not taken.
the other path shall be a wonder.

saved for next life? or never to venture.
the time is here. walk on my trusted feet.

lead me to my future.