bawww maso muchhh

its good to have ppl rely on you. but its scary when they have certain expectation from you. I dont mind drawing or making art for ppl but its just that... when they worship me like im so talented or godly sort. it puts a lot of pressure on me.

im not talented at all, and im positively not god-level. i work so hard to get what i can do today... and when i realize i cant do a thing or do it properly for those whom had high hopes for me. i feel. like dying. it pains me to disappoint ppl.

not to mention recently theres just so many things going on that is relevant to perspective. and i have zero experience with those. i get tired just thinking about them. ugh. and in turn i became lazy and.... emo.

lmao my pms is late orz

thats why i dislike specific popular artist. in DA. specially one im aiming so hard to step over. she produce art piece so effortlessly. so fast. so good. not to mention charging ppl ridiculesly high for a backgroundless full body... yea leave me alone, im jealous. so much that i wanna crush that artist everytime she submit a new art. of coz, in term of skill.

i. put. so much. fucking effort. thats the difference with talent. i know.

i just want to rant. after all the pan up frustration.

and i discover that the other artist whom i recently watch whom paints like purplekecleon... is... only 14 y'o HOMG FUCK YOU YOUNG NEW GEN ARTISTTTTTTU MAKE ME EMO LIKE OLD HAG //crysobruns