really... really...

tired. mentally.

every passing term gets more hectic and every passing terms gets more high in demand of quality. with our so called "animation" course. which we barely even learn how to do animation. just modeling and moving parts. and most of wat we do so far is either web site or video. im gettin tired.

=why do we have to push ourself so bad? or should i say other push us=

there's a lot of things i regret. but cant be help now. all i can do is feel heavily tired. of coz certain ppl is not helping my situation at all... mr. ahemkiasuahem. its just that mr. v is offering us internship at Inspedia and it feels like he is desperately trying to tell us dun go anywhere else...

=they look like they all have no life=

its a okayyyyy company but i think the world have much better things to offer.... so went to find some company online for interns lo... and i found out. im really in a pitiful position... to the point where i feel like quiting everything and start all over again. but i know budget is not going to allow me to do so..

=freedom is but an illusion=

i dun know dreamweaver... i dun know html... java... css.. i onli know basic actionscript2 and with this shit i cant even called myself multimedia designer.... i dun feel like talking. i dun feel like eating. let alone thinking... i just want to get things done and get this term over with... is depression on its way?

=im not doing my best arnt i?=

i cant care much where i intern at next term... i cant care much about my future anymore. im just too fed up and tired of these things. all im left with right now. is my hobby. i like to cg. its sth i really enjoy. ppl compliment how well i did and it really cheer me up. for the whole day if nth bad happens.

=i like to learn but not apply. where is the joy if it's being forced?=

too tired. just too tired. where can i find peace? i couldnt see it anymore. life is maturing too fast. im not prepared yet. the reality is too demanding. i know that all along but im just too weak to face it right now.

=sleep. its very tempting not to wake up=

i like to take things slow... i need time to digest and excel but with all this interviews.. intern... reports... deadlines... exam and making a portfolio within a week... while keeping the quality there for those demanding sharks...


i need to breath.



if every now and then u see super depressing entry. u know it's near end of the term for me. thanks for reading and ill try my hardest to stay alive.