cant be helped...

kind of stressed out today. i dun know. maybe PMS is around the corner.

morning was okay. just that i miss breakfast time and woke up to eat "lunch". as expected for every holiday. go to dad's shop and day dream there. my eyes got sore due to the dryness from the air con. was folding the freaking dead offering paper the whole few hour. my finger got sore and pained from the rough surface of the paper. i have delicate finger, so dont say anymore.

got home and had my official lunch at 4. usually eat at 5 when i'm back at my place. there's nothing much to eat here despite im back home with all the food i can eat without worrying budget. money is always the problem... and im one picky user when it comes to them.

night come another round of noise and stress. watched managascha 2 though, when its finally peaceful when my aunty went out. it was funny and it makes me wonder how they model the character coz i still sux.

during these few days i realize... i kind of miss the solitude life back at my place. no TV =no noise, no adults = no nag and well... noise. more space to myself. decent connection to internet, this one i blame the rain. no housework unless i need to. and people that understands me.

its not that im saying home is annoying or stuff like that... its just that sometimes its so much easier when ur alone and don't need to explain stuff. typing communication. over the phone. less nonsense.... less eye contact coz im busy and i dun wanna offend anyone on basic manner.

i dislike noise. whines. stupid television program. annoying unoriginal ads. lack of personal space. lack of money. time. free will. im just really stress out for no apperent reason. i dun know... jz stress.

maybe coz i found out im in no budger to cosplay the character i really wanted. cant bother my aunty about the outfit. she'll make lots of noise and i dun want that. specialize tailor will cost. cant just used up the money in my bank just for a one time thing. i want to have fun but i just cant when it comes to that much of money. cant find material for the outfit. it's really a dissapointment coz i was really determine to do it.

maybe ill get a part time job, but im starting next year with term2. very busy. and theres chinese new year. after that theres Fcup. need time to plan this. it's just too pack and risky to take a part time job. after semester4, comes semester5. we have martketing and internship. there goes the first half of the year. by the time CF2009 arrive, i wont have enough time nor money.... it just dissapoint me and made me deadly jealous for those other cosplayer.

damn brats. how the hack did they pull it off. i dun know, im just stress now.

i'll sleep it off i guess. hope tomorrow doesnt sux ass. or ill seriously cant enjoy holiday. haven login msn like i usually do. coz i dun want any other useless chatter. i know they mean no harm but i just cant take it sometimes as they sound so carefree and annoying.

i didnt get to play my ps2 as plan. lacking time and personal television.
didnt practice my drawing for the artjam. didnt bother.
cg and modeling? i dun know.... just not motivated enough.

yea im lazy. let me be.

good night.