im scared.

yesterday my senior invited me to a business presentation. it was held by Questnet. the people there were all around my age and very friendly. though i have to say some of them seems to have the arrogant aura around them... it kind of scared me...

all the students(ppl) there were making money unlike any 20 year old, it surprise me and makes me feel so small all of a sudden... i know theses kind of profit makin ppl existed. but i was never that near them. let alone discovering that my senior was actually one of them though his still on his first step on his journey.

he explain to me wat the business is, the plans they have, the ways they make money. at first it was really stressing me out. not to mention he invited me 2 hour before the presentation; plus i woke up from my nap. it was really a good experience being around "high class" situation. im really raw on that site of the world... it scares me.

after the presentation, we all went to KFC. to further explain the situation im in. which really got me thinking of wanting to join very badly. i was thinking about money all the time. cant be help. in this kind of era, money is 99% of the things you need. the rest just when 0.(insert number)

they show me more things about the company. more tales and could-be-you situation. more explanation. more temptations. theres was a demo on how the product work. biolenses, wat they call it. it really amazed me bout the function of that piece of glass could do. truly amazing piece of technology. and truly big a price to pay for. but their reaction were some how over reacted. its kind of fake. i dun know what to think...

im really wondering. why. why do i have to be corner up to the wall and make my decision there n then. it stressed me. i dun like it. i didnt let my guard down. i ask of questions that i could think of and maybe, just maybe give me a chance to back away. my brain wasnt working all that well...

teenager earning big money, big dream and impossible things becoming possible. it was temptation. i took a big bite on that piece of convincing. sign up a temporary membership. no money was paid. but my handphone numbers. home address and IC number was on that paper. it scared me. no signature though. but its... not a world i wanna be in just yet now that i think about it. if anything happens to me. dear readers u know where to find some clues.

its not that i dun wanna trust my senior. i do believe him to certain point... but im afraid of their determination and resolution sometimes.... they seems like they will ram over me anytime of i oppose. they are far greater and far smarter. though younger than me. we have different background, thus makin our determination level different.

i've always wanted a normal life. normal job and normal death. some excitement and some new things once in a while wont hurt. when ur in a normal family. always in the comfort zone. these kind of things is tempting. this things are wat could be, a change that you tot u could have but doenst really necessarily need them... basically i miss out the reality check... im in a blur and too stunt that time... i migh have made a mistake. i dun know. life is scary.

i dun know if ill be regrating things like this... but ill sort them out will all i got. i want to be independent for once. which is wat drove me to sign up in the 1st place.... coz i wanna earn money, and lessen some burden on my parents...

youth is about risk, being young is to be foolish. maybe... ill learn from this and become wiser. many thanks to my classmates whom smack me back to reality. thanks to my distance best friend whom gave me advise. thank you dad for stopping me.


i might have been foolish. everything scares me.


im sorry... sorry for everything... sorry from being young and naive... sorry for my personality... sorry for being afraid of responsibility... sorry for being unable to be more serious... sorry for betraying wat you believe in me... truly...


sorry.